読者がわかりやすいように、わざと原作から変更した部分が多々あるようですが、取り敢えず書いてみます。なお、下記の「原文」とは
『涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱』（角川スニーカー文庫）を指します。
著者：Nagaru TANIGAWA
p.7 l.15 “right after morning homeroom started”→“right before morning homeroom started”
p.51 l.4 “put up a text message address”→“put up an e-mail address”
p.59 l.16 “for the second year in a row”→“for the fourth year in a row” わざとかもしれません。
p.60 l.16 “That was Taniguchi.”→“That was Kunikida.”
p.66 l.33 “"Negative."”→“Negative.”
p.67 l.4 “"Affirmative."”→“Affirmative.”
p.72 l.19 “next to one of the wooden benches”→“at one of the wooden benches”
p.78 l.6 “since the birth of Earth and this solar system long ago”→“since long before the birth of Earth and this solar system”
p.91 l.22 “through the revolving door”→“fronting a rotary”or“fronting a traffic circle”
p.98 l.9 “Asahina placed three fingers on the bench”→“Asahina placed three fingers of each hand on the bench”
p.105 l.8 “lamppost”→“telephone pole” わざとかもしれません。
p.108
l.16 “Up until that point, they had merely observed her from a distance.”→“Up until that point, I had merely observed her from a distance.”
p.110 l.19 “five seconds ago”→“five minutes ago”
p.112
l.32 “Koizumi looked amused as he smiled. I think that was the first time his smile hadn't looked artificial.”→“Koizumi looked amused as he laughed. I think that was the first time he had laughed.”
p.115 l.19 “Her voice sounded resigned.” 原文p.175 l.6では“声にも潤いがない。”となっています。訳しにくい文ですが、resignedはニュアンスが違う気がします。所詮ボクの主観でしかありませんが。
p.118 l.33 “I raced up the stairs past the second floor”→“I raced up the stairs three at a time”
p.119 l.30 “Asakura's pale face”→“Asakura's fair-skinned face”
p.120 l.29 “Asakura smiled like a cat being patted in someone's lap.”→“Asakura smiled like she was patting a cat in her lap.”
p.121 l.2 “I hurriedly leaped up like a grasshopper.” 原文p.183では“慌ててバッタみたいに跳びすさる。”となっていて、まだ立ち上がってはいない。
l.22 “This is a joke, right?” 原文p.184 l.7ではこの直前で“俺はそろそろと立ち上がる。”となっている。
l.23 “It's not like she was some girl whose reputation I dragged through the mud or had some ugly break-up with.” 原文p.184 l.8では“別に泥沼化したあげくこっぴどく振った女でもなく”となっており、かなりの改変が見られる。
p.122 l.22 “florescent lights”→“fluorescent lights”
p.126 l.33 “Nagato stated.”→“Asakura stated.”
p.128 l.12 “with a muted sound” 原文p.193 l.5では“乾いた音を立てて”となっていて、ニュアンスが異なる。
l.23 “Nagato's small body shuddered”→“Nagato's small body jolted”
p.145 l.10 “the two of us trying to look innocent” 原文p.219 l.8では“棒立ちしている俺たち”となっており、改変が見られる。
p.146 l.5 “just staring at the door without saying anything”→“just staring at the mute door” わざとかもしれません。